As they sat in the waiting room, Brie tried furiously to keep her hands warm as she sat and read her book. She rubbed them together and did everything she could think to do, but to no avail. She even put on the leather, fur lined gloves that James and Kenna had given her as a gift for Hanukkah.
David noticed out of the corner of his eye. “Is everything ok, love?” he asked.
“I can’t feel my fingertips, hon. I can’t seem to keep them warm.”
He checked his watch- a gift from her during Hanukkah- and rubbed a hand over her thigh. “We should be called back any minute now. Just be patient.”
“I’m trying, David.”
He took her hand and squeezed it gently. “I’m here for you, Brie. Do you need to borrow a little of my patience?” he chuckled.
“No. I just want my hands to warm up.”
“I’m bored”, Abby said from the seat on the other side of her grandfather.
“Bored?” David said. “Have you done your school work?”
“Yeah, Grampa.”
“Don’t you have a book to read on your iPad that you can read? Or a game app of some sort that you can play to keep yourself occupied until we go home?”
She sighed. “I guess.”
“Then I suggest you do something because we’re here until the doctor is done with Gramma.”
“Mrs. Draiman, can you come back now?” the nurse called from the door that led back to the examination area. They all stood and headed back so that Brie could see her doctor. “Do we need to weigh you after the holidays, Mrs. Draiman?”
“I would think not. I haven’t gained an ounce.”
“What am I seeing you for today, Mrs. Draiman?” her doctor called from down the hall as he came out of one of the exam rooms.
“My hands. Can’t use them, can’t keep them warm to save my life.”
“I’ll be right in. Am I seeing you too, Mr. Draiman?” he asked.
“No. Just Mrs. Draiman today, Doctor.”
“Go on into room 3 there and I’ll get her chart and be right in.”
David and Brie went into the room and sat down to wait. Abby got out her iPad and started looking for things to keep herself busy. She knew that he Grampa would not put up with her whining that she was bored. He’d already gotten onto her once for saying that she was. If he had to say it again she knew that she would be in a lot of trouble when they got back to the house.
Brie sat on in one of the chairs rather than the exam table for a couple of reasons. First, it was easier on her not to sit on the table and second, it left the table open for Abby to stretch out and do whatever it was that she was going to do.
She took David’s hand and closed her eyes. She could feel herself starting to panic and that was the last thing she wanted to do. Now that she was there, they were going to run tests and that could take a lot of time. “I will not freak out”, she said quietly to herself.
“What’s the matter, babe?” David asked her, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles.
“Now that we’re here, my heart is racing and I’m just a little scared.”
“It’s going to be ok, love.”
“I know. I just can’t convince my subconscious of that.”
---------------
“I had to juggle a few patients around to get back here to see you, but I’m here”, her Doctor said.
“What do you mean?” Brie asked.
“They didn’t schedule you with me.”
“The bitches had better get fired then, because I specifically told that I had to see you. I even had to shout at them for arguing with each other while I was on the phone and speaking in Hebrew under the assumption that I didn’t understand.”
“When did this happen?”
“Just this morning”, David said. “She called after we were up for the morning and eating breakfast. She told them that she didn’t care when it was as long as it was with you and in the next two months.”
“Ah- ha. Going back to the states for the annual celebration of birthdays with the grandchildren that you share them with?”
“Yes and no”, Brie said. “Our oldest granddaughter is getting married and due a month later.”
“Mazl tov”, he said with a smile. “First great- grandchild?”
“Yes.”
“Again, congratulations. Now, let’s get down to business here. No more talking about your lovely family. Mrs. Draiman, why don’t you tell me what’s going on with your hands?”
“While we were in the US visiting the children and grandchildren for the holidays, I started losing function in my hands. I also discovered that while we were over there, it didn’t seem to matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep them warm. I would soak them in hot water, or hold them in front of the fire place or heater to get them warm and it seemed like moments later they would be cold again.”
He nodded as he took notes of what she was saying, writing in Hebrew as he did. “How long were you two in the US before you noticed this starting to happen?”
“A couple of days I guess. I couldn’t tell you for sure.”
“Was it happening before you left?”
“A little every now and then. I wasn’t really alarmed by it until I couldn’t pick up the bag of Hanukkah goodies for the grandchildren. I’d had my gloves in front of the fire to warm; I’d just gotten done washing the dishes from our lunch so my hand were warm. When our son Jeremiah came out to get us, I tried to pick up the bag that had the gift for the grandkids and I couldn’t close my hand around the handles on my own or using both hands. Our son ended up getting the bag for me.”
He looked at David. “Were there times when her hand were cold when she would touch you?”
“Occasionally, even more so now that we’re back from the US than before we left.”
He looked back at Brie. “What about feeling? Do you lose sensation in your fingertips?”
“Every now and then. I’ll be honest with you, Doctor. I’m afraid of peripheral neuropathy.”
“Is the condition the same in your feet?”
“Not as much, but my feet are always cold unless it’s summer.”
He nodded. “Without having done any testing or examination, would you like my medical opinion?”
“Of course.”
“I’m not sure how familiar you are with it, but this sounds like something called Raynaud’s.”
Brie sighed. “I’m more familiar with it than you’ll ever know, Doctor.”
“Where from?”
“Remember, I was a massage therapist for over 35 years. I encountered a great deal of different pathologies. But, I had a dear friend for many, many years that had CREST syndrome. As you know, one of the symptoms of that is Raynaud’s.”
He nodded. “That it is. I don’t think that you have CREST. In the nearly fifteen years I’ve been seeing you, I haven’t seen any of the other symptoms in CREST syndrome. What I think is happening here is age related. Your circulation is just getting worse now that you’re older. There’s nothing really that can be done about the issue of aging. However, to help with the circulation problems, I can get your gloves that will stimulate it. And of course, we’ll do blood work and other tests to see what it is. Honestly, I think this is just another side effect of getting older.”
“Ok. At least we’re taking steps to know what’s going on. I can’t do this.”
“The whole not knowing thing?”
“Yeah. It sucks not knowing. It sucks that I can’t do all of the things I used to do.”
“I understand that. I don’t know how it feels, but I know how I would feel if my independence were taken for any reason. Now, real quick before I send a nurse in for blood work I want to examine your back and see how that’s doing. I know at your age another separation would be way too dangerous, but I would hope that the sodium you’ve been taking and ingesting his helped slow the fusion.”
She nodded. “I understand that. So, what? You’re going to palpate my spine then send me to get X- Rays?
“X-rays are dependent on what I feel when I palpate your spine.”
She shrugged. “Let’s get this over with, I supposed.”
---------------
The trip back to the house was one of discomfort for Brie. She hated it when the doctor went poking at her back. She would have pain shooting up her back and down her legs for hours afterward. “This sucks”, she huffed as David drove them back home. Abby was sitting in the backseat listening to music and paying no attention to her grandparents.
“I know. I don’t understand why he’s so rough when he checks your back”, David said, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. “But, bright side is that the fusion isn’t getting worse. It’s not getting better, but it’s not getting worse.”
“Yes, my spinal fusion is at a stalemate it seems”, she laughed. “I suppose that is good news. What will be better is finding out what’s going in with my hands. I know I have arthritis. I know I have carpal tunnel. Carpal tunnel can cause loss of motor function and sensation. It’s the loss of circulation that’s getting to me. Why are my hands always so cold?”
“We will hopefully find out soon once all of the tests and stuff have come back. Meanwhile, we’ll have to find ways to keep your hands and feet warm.”
She leaned over carefully and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, love. I hate this and it’s comforting to know that you’re there for me.”
“You’d be there for me if roles were reversed. It’s part of the job description of being your husband.”
She smiled. “You do such a good job of it, David. I hope that you never doubt that.”
“I don’t. You tell me every day that I’m a wonderful husband and all that wonderful stuff. If you think it then it must be true.”
She laughed. “That’s the attitude I’ve had to take when you call me an angel and all that wonderful stuff. If you say I’m your angel, then it must be true.”
“Well, you are. You’re my saving grace. The last forty-eight years have been sheer bliss knowing that when I wake up, you’ll be there next to me.”
“You are such a smooth talker, Michael. What am I going to do with you?”
“Not too much you can do with me now, love. We’re both in too deep.”
She laughed. “Oh yeah. I know. I guess the only thing I can do is keep you. Way too late to throw you back into the pond.”
“Not that you want too, right?” he asked as he pulled into the driveway.
“Of course. Why would I want to throw you back? You, sir, are quite the catch. I certainly lucked out.”
“Being assigned to, in essence, stalk you was the best thing to ever happen to me.”
“I don’t think I would ever admit this to anyone else, but same here. Having you in my life- though it has been quite the roller coaster- has been the best ride of them all.”
They kissed briefly then looked at Abby in the back seat. David snapped his fingers to get her attention. “Come on, Abigayle. It’s time to go inside. We’ll start a movie for you once we’re in and I’ll make us all a late lunch.”
The little girl nodded. “Ok, Grampa. I’ll see you and Gramma at the door.” The little girl gathered her things and got out of the car to run to door that went into the house from the garage.
“Where does she get the energy?” Brie asked as she grabbed her purse. “I miss the day when I could just up and run.”
“That makes two of us.” He took her hand and kissed the back of it. “Come on. Let’s go in and I’ll make us all something to eat.”
She kissed the palm of his hand before getting out of the car, meeting him in front of it so that she could walk in with him. Once they were inside, she put a movie on for Abby and went back into the kitchen. “I’m going to get a hot shower. I need to wash my hair after the hot tub this morning and my hands are frozen.”
“Ok my love. Lunch will be ready in a little while. I figured that you would enjoy a taste of Italy.”
“Pasta dish with a little pesto?”
“Yep. Go get your shower and lunch will be ready before you know it.”
She stretched up in tip toes and kissed his cheek before walking off to the bathroom. She started the water, using her forearm as the judge for the heat of the water. Her hands were no good as a judge anymore. Once she had the perfect temperature, she started the shower and stepped under the water. The heat felt so good as it soaked into her muscles and joints. She stood under the water with her hands on her head as the water tried to warm her freezing cold hands. After a few minutes, her hands warmed enough that she could wash her hair and be able to feel her scalp underneath her fingertips. She’d been using the same shampoo and conditioner for more than fifty years. The oils themselves released into the shower under the hot water and the bathroom would smell like lavender and vanilla for hours. She loved the smell of the two plants together. There was something magic about them. And, David sure didn’t have anything objectionable to say about it. He’d always thought that her shampoo and conditioner was intoxicating. She still had that kind of an effect on the man she crawled into bed with every night and had ten children with. The thought that once she was out of the shower, the scent that would linger in the bathroom and in her hair would captivate her husband brought a smile to her face.
After she was done bathing and washing, she stood under the water for a little while longer. She needed to try to collect as much heat as she could before she got out and went to eat. She knew it would do her no good, but it was a thought. For the most part, the water felt good and she didn’t want to get out.
The bathroom door opened. “Baby, lunch is ready”, she heard her husband say.
“I’ll be right out, sweetheart”, she said as she shut off the water. It felt good, true, but she needed to eat. She’d taken her insulin before they left the doctor’s office.
Her pajamas hugged her like an old friend after she wrung the excess water out of her hair. She added a little bit of anti- frizz product to her silver and white hair and left the bathroom to join her husband and their granddaughter at the table so that they could eat.
---------------
Abigayle went home after a couple more hours and David and Brie had their house to themselves again. She just wanted to relax with her husband next to the fireplace in their living room and watch television. She didn’t care what they watched or did as long as she was curled against the front of his body with her head against his chest next to the blaze of the fire against the cool night in the desert. This would be the point in the year where they would have normally planned a trip south of the Equator. But, they hadn’t been allowed to travel extensively for nearly three years. Once Brie was closing in on her 80’s the doctors told them both that the traveling had to come to an end.
“How are you doing?” he asked, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear.
“I’m ok, I suppose”, she said with a sigh. “My back hurts a little, but it’s not too bad. My hands are cold again and I don’t think I could pick up a cup of cocoa or tea right now, but I’ll get over it. Other than that, I’m good. I’m sitting here with you while you watch the news, listening to you breathe and the sound of your heart beating, and just enjoying your company.”
“Is my news boring you, Brie?”
“I quit paying attention to the news unless it’s relevant to what’s going on in the states when we head over there or what’s going on here before we leave. It doesn’t bore me. It just doesn’t interest me anymore.”
“I could change it, or put on a movie that we haven’t watched yet if that will be better”, he said, looking down at here. The couch had become their favorite place to cuddle outside of the bedroom.
“It doesn’t matter, David. I’m content right here where I am. I don’t have to have a movie or anything like that. I’m with you and that’s really all that matters to me.”
“I’ll put on a movie. The news is nearly over anyway and it’s nothing I particularly care about. They’re not covering American Football in Sports so I don’t really care.” He switched the TV’s operating mode and turned on the movie player so that he could connect to the movie database that was hooked to their wireless internet signal. As he scrolled through the movies, his phone started vibrating on the coffee table. She reached over and grabbed it so that she could answer it. “Yes Jacob?” she asked quaintly.
“Jessi called and told me that you were going to the doctor about your hands, Mom. Any news?” Jake asked.
“Just poor circulation in my hands. The arthritis and carpal tunnel on top of that, I should lose complete use of my hands by the time I’m 90”, she laughed. “Why didn’t you call my phone?”
“I did. You didn’t answer it.”
“Oh. It must be charging. It kinda died on me earlier while we were at the Doctor’s office.”
“Ah, that makes sense. How’s Dad?”
“I’m fine Jacob”, David said. “Your Mom and I are just relaxing and trying to get ready to go to bed for the night. Jessi nearly to her head taken off of her shoulders this afternoon as Mom and I were trying to leave for Mom’s appointment.”
“Yeah, she mentioned that she dropped Abby off without advanced warning. Did Abby complain any?”
“Once, and I put an end to it then. Now, Jacob, as much as your mother and I love you and love to hear from you, we’re trying to enjoy the evening alone. That means that once we hang up, I’m probably going to turn my phone off. Is there anything you need?”
“No. I just wanted to see how you guys were doing. Jessi told me about Mom’s doctor’s appointment and I had to know what was going on so that I know if we need to make any accommodations when you two come back for Miranda’s wedding.”
“Jake, your mother is fine. Get ready for work. We will talk to you later.”
“Ok. Good night and I love you both.”
“Have a good day, Jake. We love you as well.”
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